As a little boy, perhaps 7 or 8, I had a profound experience that helped form my lifelong passion for meditation, a devotion which continues to flourish as I ripen into the 6th decade of my life.
I remember desperately wanting to join my older brothers at play by a canal, but my mother refused to allow me, clearly concerned for my safety. I wailed, howled, stamped my feet and kicked up a terrible fuss but my mum was having none of it. At some point during my protest, my developing brain seemed to grasp the reality at a deep level that I was not going to get my way, so I sank to the floor, a defeated and emotionally weary child. As my tears began to dry, my sobs fading into little gasps and the intensity of my rage ebbing, I began to feel calm, very calm. A stillness settled over me, so much so that even now as I write more than 55 years later, I clearly remember the profound and extraordinary feeling of peace I felt. I now know that the mind-state I spontaneously entered into then, albeit briefly, was a deep acceptance of reality where there was absolutely no struggle with anything. Perhaps what was most striking about the experience was my very young age, and the indelible, formative mark that experience created on my psyche. Years later, I also realised that if I entered that state of mind before, then it would be possible to do so again, but how?
Having the fortune of being born a seeker I followed my natural inclination, at first and by necessity to the material world, starting with the library, and then turning my attention inwards. I began with my breath, trying to hold my attention on it for four exhalations, as I had read, but I wanted instruction.
I first learned the Transcendental Meditation technique in 1988 and since that time I have attended many, many hours of retreat with different meditation traditions such as Dzogchen, Vippassana and Zen. I have also undertaken Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction training, a Holotropic breathwork weekend retreat and in 2019 I completed a 10 day silent Vippassana retreat (as taught by S.N. Goenka). I have also completed a postgraduate certificate in Mindfulness Based Practice and Research in my alma mater, University College Cork.
Meditation is considered ‘First-person science’, one of the traditional forms of psychological enquiry that has contributed significantly to psychological theory building. It can add an in-depth understanding to phenomena that are difficult to access from a third-person perspective. It is a science in the sense that it is objectively verifiable through repeated testing and replication of results. For example, non meditators who complete an 8 week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction training course WILL show a marked reduction in amygdala size (the Almond shaped part of the brain closely associated with fear, among other emotions) and an increase in the size of the cortex, where the conscious mind is found. I like that my mind is the laboratory and the meditation technique I’m using represents the lab equipment! (A hat tip here to the late Culadasa and to Science Direct).
I was well on the contemplative path when I was delighted to discover that Siddartha Gautama also had a profound meditative experience as a boy! Perhaps it’s a common experience among children, but it seems I am in good company!!
I meditate because I want to see clearly, beyond my conditioned mind, because I choose to no longer live by my past, and this requires living an examined life. Besides, my mind is the basis of everything I experience in life, and of the contribution I can make to the lives of others, so why not pay attention to my mind?
I also contend that a lot of unnecessary mental suffering in life can be attributed to a refusal to accept reality. An example might be useful here. In his book ‘The Laws of Human Nature’ Robert Greene points out that human interactions can be a major source of frustration because of an unwillingness to accept the reality of who we encounter. We would like those we interact with to behave and think in particular ways (ways like our own ways). Instead of accepting a person for who they are, and working with what is before us, we get frustrated if that person doesn’t meet all our expectations.
Our brains are wired as if we are still roaming the savanna as hunter gatherers, while being prey ourselves. This has created an operating system for the mind that has ‘outdated software’ in parts, shall we say. Meditation helps me identify my blind spots.
There will be lots more on the subject of meditation in this blog.
Denis Magee 